Sunset
by Mahumia
Summary: Based upon Dragon Age: Awakening, seen from the point of view of (mostly) my FemCousland and Nathaniel. Please note that I've been altering and made up happenings. Warning: chapter 25 has nsfw content. If you don't like that: stop reading at chapter 24, which is still an ending to the story.
1. Chapter 1

Nathaniel leaned casually against the wall of the throne room, arms folded. He had arrived a few minutes before and decided to join the crowd in the throne room. From his corner he could easily follow what was happening in the room, without placing himself in the picture. There was no need for him to be seen. He didn't want to cause problems in case one of the nobles would recognize him as the former Arls son.

His eyes slid over the crowd. Most of them were nobles indeed, who've asked for an audience with the Commander. A noble woman with an embroided red dress started to complain to her neighbour that it took so long. He grinned and turned his gaze to the front of the room, where the Commander was. 'Yes, she takes her sweet time to listen to their stories, but is that a bad thing? ' he wondered. He looked at her as she sat on her throne, every now and then leaning in towards the Seneschal for advise. Her armour brushed up shiny and her hair neatly pinned up. Usually she would let her hair hang loose and wouldn't care for a spot on her clothes, but now she was in her role as 'Commander-Arlesse'.

A guard pushed a scrawny man forward. Judging by the clothes he was a commoner. He couldn't see the expression on the mans face, but the hunched pose showed that he was afraid. The guard turned to face the audience and stated that the man was caught red-handed when stealing bread from the granaries. He continued with telling that stealing from the crown would be punished dead by hanging. Nathaniel rubbed his chin and frowned. The scrawny mans pleas were audible through the whole room. "Have mercy, Ser." He fell on his knees, his hands clasped in front of his chest: "My children are starving Ser. They haven't had a decent meal since we had to flee for the darkspawn. I.. I didn't want to…" His voice lowered and he appeared to be sobbing. The Commander leaned forward to the man in front of her and spoke to him. After a few moments he looked up at her and started to nod eagerly, after which she granted him a friendly smile. She turned her gaze to the Seneschal and said a few words to him. The Seneschal nodded to her, turned his gaze towards the audience and straightened his back before announcing: "So be it. This man will serve in the Commanders army as soldier. His family can stay with the families of the other soldiers. The Commander has spoken. The matter is resolved." The last words of the Seneschal were barely audible as the man started to cheer. Guards quickly put themselves between him and the Commander as the man appeared to want to run up to the Commander and give her a big hug. The man was escorted outside by the guards, but yelled on the way to the doors: "Maker bless you, good Ser! I'll be the best soldier you've ever had!"

Nathaniel couldn't help but smile. 'That little Cousland girl keeps surprising me'. His face turned in a frown quickly, however. 'Why is the same person who killed my father, the same person who shows compassion to her commoners… and the same person who let me go when she had the chance to finish me off?'


	2. Chapter 2

She stepped out of the bad and wrapped a towel around her. After that she walked over to the closet and chose a set of comfortable clothes: a simple dress and some soft shoes. The mailgirl had brought in some letters earlier that day, and she decided to take them along to the living quarters in order to read them.

A few minutes later she entered the living quarters. Her eyes caught the mage who was lying on a couch. He didn't seem to notice her entering the room as he was busy reading a book. "Good evening Anders, studying again?" He looked up at her with a bit of a startled look, a blush forming on his cheeks: "Oh eh, good evening Commander." She grinned and dropped in an opposite chair. "I bet it's a book with interesting pictures?" Anders chuckled and answered with a sly smile: "Absolutely… care to help me studying?" He held up the book, which was titled 'Antivan romances'. She chuckled in return and shook her head: "It's an attractive offer Anders, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline." "Maybe another time then?" "We'll see." He sighed and stood up from the couch. "Well then, let's see if I can find some other pretty girls who don't mind keeping a lonely mage company." She laughed: "Have fun! As long as I don't get complaints about you, Anders." He turned around before walking out, replying quasi offended: "Complaints? About me? You clearly don't know what you're missing." She shook her head and answered teasingly: "Indeed, I don't", before turning her attention to the letters.

She took a look at the letters. "Probably more of the same solve-this-help-with-that-stuff" she sighed. Then her eye caught a familiar handwriting. She opened the envelope and started reading.

Nathaniel entered the room and walked over to the cabinet. He grabbed a wine jug and filled two goblets, before walking towards her. "Here you are, m'lady", he offered her a goblet. She looked up from her letter. "Oh, thank you Nate, that's kind of you." She smiled at him when she took the wine. "So, how was your visit to Amaranthine?" He sat down on the couch where Anders had been before and leaned a bit forward, holding the goblet with both hands just below the cup. "It was… interesting. Delilah sends you her regards, by the way." She noticed that he didn't look at her whilst speaking, so decided not to push him. "How nice, please return the favour next time you see her. How does she fare?"

He smiled and turned his gaze upward from his goblet, looking at her with his grey eyes. "She's doing well. Her belly grows steadily. And I met her husband, seems like a fair man to me." He took a sip from his wine. "So, what were things like here?"

"Nothing unusual really. At least I could entertain myself in court with lady what's-her-name complaining about a stray sheep which ate her magnolias or ser whatever having an issue with his neighbour about a caravan blocking the road for five whole minutes." She rubbed her forehead. "Like I've got nothing better to do." She let her head rest on one arm and smiled at Nathaniel. "Tired, m'lady?" "Yes… it has been a long day, and getting loads of mail doesn't help either." She put her wine on the table in front of her, in order to grab the letter she was reading earlier. "Might be that I take leave for a short period in order to visit Fergus." Nathaniel pondered for a moment. "Ah yes. Fergus. It has been a long time since I saw him. How is he?"

"He is having a hard time rebuilding and giving everything a place." "Rebuilding? From what?" "What do you think?" She snapped at him, more fiercely then she actually intended. He immediately moved backwards on the couch, throwing his hands up in the air. "Well sorry, but I'm not reminding you all the time either whose hand it was that struck the final blow on my father!" She stared at him for a moment, incredulously. Then she stood up and hasted towards the door. "Oh, go soak your head!" Her voice a mixture of anger and sadness.

Nathaniel grunted and stood up to go after her. He caught up with her near her room, where he grabbed her upper arm. "Let me go Nate!" She tried to pull loose from him, but he held her firmly. "No, I… I want to talk to you." "Forget it!" She glared at him. "You seem to think it's funny to tell me how evil I am to be responsible for your fathers death! But you didn't see your sister-in-law slaughtered, still holding her child. You didn't see your father suffocate in his own blood after being stabbed by an old friend." Her eyes filled with tears as her voice softened. "You weren't forced to leave everyone behind, knowing that they would die. Your mother staying behind with your father to give you have a chance to escape, so that not the whole family would be murdered." Nathaniel just looked at her, not knowing how to respond. Slowly she pushed him backwards. "All I did was fulfilling my fathers last wish, to bring justice to the one who did this…" She turned around and opened the door to her room. Softly she added, before entering her room and closing the door: "I'm not your father, and neither are you, Nathaniel Howe."

Nathaniel stood there for several moments, motionless. Then he leaned against the wall, burrowed his head inside his hands and sighed deeply. Fighting back his own tears. 'Maker, why? What made you do this, father?'


	3. Chapter 3

Nathaniel made his way to the training grounds. His bow hanging loosely over his shoulder and a pair of daggers strapped on his belt. He wanted to clear his mind, and practicing helped with that.

He attached a couple of targets to a wall and began to shoot a few arrows at it. "Morning chap", he heard behind him. 'Oh, for Andrastes sake, does that walking brewery really have to show up now?' "Morning Oghren" he mumbled, without turning his gaze from the targets. The arrow he let loose missed the target completely and ended up in a tree nearby. "Well, you missed the darkspawn, but hit the ogre!" laughed Oghren. Nathaniel glared from the corner of his eye at the dwarf, who didn't pay attention to the rogue. Oghren sat down on a bench and prepared to polish his waraxe.

Nathaniel shook his head and continued shooting his arrows till the quiver was empty. His jaw clenched when he walked forward to collect the arrows. 'Was Delilah right then? Did father get what he deserved? But how could that be if SHE murdered him in return.' He aimed an arrow and span the bow. 'She is so different then I thought she would be… when did I see her for the last time, before I went to the Marches?' The arrow went into flight and hit the target about halfway. He grabbed another arrow from the quiver. 'Yes, she was just a little girl back then. Not even a woman, who played hide and seek with Thomas and Delilah.' He smirked as the memories came back. Mindless he kept aiming arrows and letting them fly. 'A little girl with big blue eyes, long brown curls and a sky blue dress. Little Shanna Cousland who's now the Commander of the Grey Warden… Never thought that she would turn into the warrior who would cause the downfall of our family. Or did she? Delilah said she'd fled from fathers tyranny, Thomas wrote me several times that he was jealous because I was far away... He never drank that much before, did he?' Nathaniel let the string relax, but still held the arrow between his fingers. He glanced at the dwarf, who still sat on his bench. "Oghren?" "Aye?" "You were there when my father got… executed… Right?"

The dwarf stopped with his polishing and eyed the rogue before answering: "Aye, what's up?" Nathaniel walked slowly over to the dwarf. "I want to know what happened. Did he suffer?" Oghren huffed: "If only. All that son of a nug did was cursing at her, spitting in her face that he regretted not to have finished the job at… Highever or something… and describing how he killed her parents." Oghren mumbled some curses under his breath before continuing: "She had to hold both me and Zevran to stop us from killing him on the spot, hehe. But when he refused to yield she finally ran her sword though him." Nathaniel sat down on the ground and crossed his legs. He pondered for a few moments before he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Did he… ask for mercy?" Oghren chuckled: "If you call 'Maker spit on you, I deserved more' like that… I thought he just wanted more stabbing." Nathaniel looked up at the dwarf with a painful look in his eyes. "So my father did indeed not regret what he had done?" "Nope, and he was still torturing innocents… and he had tried to kill her again. He was the one who hired Zevran." Nathaniel pondered: "But you said that that Zevran was there?" Oghren laughed: "Indeed, the assassination failed and she decided to take him along. The two became good friends later on. She must have a liking for men who try to kill her." He slapped his knee before getting up and collecting his stuff, still sniggering. Nathaniel didn't pay attention as Oghren walked away. His mind was too busy with processing everything the dwarf had said. 'So Delilah was right… ' He sat there for several minutes before standing up and making his way back to the training grounds.

He placed his bow and quiver against a wall. He places his feet firmly to the ground as he stretched his upper body to warm up. 'So… the man I loved and admired was nothing more than a rotten apple?' He produced two small daggers from his belt. The sharp steel shined in the sun as he let the daggers switch between both hands. 'Once I was proud to wear the name 'Howe'… but who am I now?' His face turned grim as he raised his hand in order to throw the dagger. 'A pariah, the son of a criminal.' With a short fling of his wrist he sent the dagger flying. The quickly raised the other arm as well and also threw that dagger before the first one hit the target. Both landed in the middle, only inches apart. Nathaniel sighed and rubbed his forehead. 'Is that why she let me stay? To keep me as a trophy, a toy?' He shook his head whilst he stepped forward to retrieve the daggers. 'No, she gave me the chance to get away, but I came back myself. She apparently even gave father the chance to yield…' He hesitated a moment before pulling the daggers out of the target. He sheathed them and began to unbuckle his chest piece. The warmth of the sun was bothering him. Besides, he liked the freedom of movement he had without the studded leather. He threw the chest piece and the shirt he was wearing underneath in a corner and walked over to the weapon rack. He chose two short swords and began to swing them around. 'Why can't I just hate her?'


	4. Chapter 4

She went outside to look for the mailgirl. Anders accompanied her as he wanted to check some new merchandise the vendors had brought along. It had took her long enough to write answer to all the mails, so she would be glad to get rid of them. Her eyes skimmed the courtyard, but didn't catch a glimpse of the girl. "Anders, where did you hide the courier this time?" He looked at her with a supposed serious face, but the sparkling in his eyes didn't fade: "Oh, she's probably melted after last time I showed her the inside of the broom closet." "Anders! You're horrible!" She shoved him teasingly. "But fine, in that case it's your fault, so I'm sure you won't mind to make sure that these letters reach the courier, hmm?" He laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder: "Fine, and what do I get in return?" She grinned at him and said teasingly: "How about I refrain from calling in the templars to report some apostate mage using illegal magic?" He pouted whilst he took the letters from her: "Fine fine, point taken… I was just hoping for some special attention from a pretty lady." He winked at her. She chuckled and waved him away: "Keep on dreaming boy."

She turned around and started walking back to the gates when her eyes caught some movement at the training grounds. Looking on in amazement she stared at Nathaniel as he continued with his training. Gracious movements flew over in each other as he stepped around and struck at invisible targets, his arms following the motion of the rest of his body. Muscles flexed under a sweated skin in what appeared like a dance. "Don't spoil it with looking." She startled as Anders suddenly whispered in her ear. He looked at her with a sly grin as she felt her cheeks glow: "No, I… I was just amazed to see him use swords. I didn't know he is skilled with those." "Of course Commander… of course… You were dreaming about some wholly different skills." She shoved him and continued walking: "Go soak your head, Anders." His chuckling behind her made her blush even more. Nathaniel, on the other hand, was oblivious to the commotion.


	5. Chapter 5

Nathaniel filled his hands with water and splashed it in his face. He leaned back in the tub and closed his eyes for a moment. The lukewarm water caused him to shiver for a bit, but he didn't mind the refreshment.

'So I came back to redeem my family name… but will I ever be able to? I have to…" His thoughts got disturbed by a knocking on the door. He sighed: "Who's there?" "Anders ser. Would you please join us at the library?" Nathaniel frowned: "Ain't it a bit early for supper?" "It's not for supper, we need to discuss something." Nathaniel grumbled: "Fine, hold on whilst I make myself presentable." He stepped out of the tub and dried himself. Quickly he put on some clothes and opened the door to find Anders waiting. The mage looked amused at the rogue. "Let us go, the other wardens are waiting for us." They started to make their way to the library. Nathaniel started to braid his hair whilst walking: "What do you need me for anyway?" "You're noble born, and we need someone with knowledge about the noble customs." The mage stated. Nathaniel glanced sideways at Anders, his brow raised in a curious way. "Are you mocking me?" The mage smiled in return: "No, not this time."


	6. Chapter 6

Some early rays of sunshine stirred her in her sleep. She groaned softly and opened her eyes. "It was just a dream, silly girl." She threw back the covers and slipped out of bed. Her eye caught a bundle that was laying on her desk. On closer examination it turned out to be a dark red dress and a matching pair of shoes. A half-smile formed around her lips: 'those servants just keep trying to get me in ladies-clothing… oh well, I'll give them their way for today.' She dressed herself and sat down at the mirror to comb her hair. "Meow" When she looked around she saw a red tabby sitting on the ground behind her. "Why, Ser Pounce-a-lot. Sneaking into the ladies rooms again, aren't we?" The cat cocked his head and jumped onto her lap. A loud purring followed as she started to pet him. "You're starting to take on Anders customs, silly cat." Then she noticed that there was a small scroll attached on the cats collar. "What do you have here then?" She loosened the ribbon and unfolded it. Her eyes slid over the elegant handwriting a few times: "Good morning m'lady. Please make your way to the throne room." It wasn't signed. A sigh escaped her: "Dear Maker, are there problems again?" She finished combing her hair and carefully put the cat on the ground. "Well than, let's see what's the matter."

When she opened the door to the throne room she expected a crowd of complaining nobles and commoners. So she was very surprised to find an empty room. She looked around uncomfortably, and regretted that she didn't bring along any weaponry, when she heard a voice coming from a corner. "There you are! I didn't expect you to be here this soon." That Orlesian accent… "Leliana?"

The red-haired woman stepped forward and giggled a bit: "You're so surprised to see me hun?" Shanna ran forward and gave her old friend a big hug: "You bet! How are you? Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were about to visit? Then I would have given you a better welcome." Leliana returned the hug. "Don't worry dear, I'm fine." She eyed the commander up and down: "Come, I see we've got much to do… You can't walk around like this on a special day. Besides, we've got a lot to catch up." She linked arms with the commander and gently dragged her along. "What do you mean?" Leliana sent her an amused smile: "Oh come on, you didn't forget that today is your birthday, right?" The commander scratched the back of her head with her free hand: "Well no, but I haven't paid attention to that since… well… Highever." Leliana nodded: "All the more reason to catch up darling. So, would you please show me where your room is?" "Don't you want a tour through the keep first?" "No, I've got to spoil you first…" She pinched softly in Shannas arm. "There are some new trends in Orlais I just have to show you." The commander rolled her eyes teasingly: "Andrastes mercy, you are not going to tie living birds in my hair, are you?" Leliana giggled: "No, that's sooo last year." "You know you're in Ferelden now, aren't you?" Both women giggled their way to the commanders room.

"Sit down then." Leliana grabbed the brush and started to brush the commanders hair. "I'm so jealous of your hair… curls are all the fad at the moment." Shanna looked at her via the mirror: "Really?" Leliana nodded: "What shall I do… oh yes, that would be lovely." The commander smiled: "It has been a long time Leliana… how's your research coming along?" "Not as fast as I hoped, but it's coming along steadily. By the way, I heard some interesting rumours about talking darkspawn in this region?" The commander frowned a bit. "Yes, it's rather disturbing. You might want to check up Anders about that. He's keeping the reports as we're still investigating the matter." "Who's Anders?" "One of our Grey Wardens, a mage. You'll probably recognize him easily: long blond hair, not as scrawny as your average mage and a good sense of humour. Not to mention he is attracted to pretty women as a bee is to honey." Leliane raised an eyebrow: "Ooh, do I sense something there?" Shanna chuckled: "No. He's a good guy, definitely not hard to look at and I can get along with him pretty well. However, I do not fancy him in such way." Leliane tilted her head: "Who then? I'm sure there must be someone who keeps your bed warm at night." "Apart from myself? Sadly enough not. Most wouldn't even consider it." "Pff, they don't know what they are missing!" Leliana exclaimed. "You're a young woman dear, enjoy your life." The commander sent her a half-smile. "I'm now the Commander of the Grey, Leliana. With that comes great responsibility. I can't just do as I please." Leliana's expression turned a bit worried: "Are you missing Alastair?" She shook her head: "No, I made the right decision there. He'll find himself a good wife and a chance to maintain the Theirin bloodline. It would have been selfish if I would have put myself on the throne. Having two grey wardens on the throne would have been suspicious, not to mention there would never be an heir." Leliana leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Shanna's neck. "Don't be silly, girl. You're important and you need to be happy. Remember who you are, Shanna Cousland. I'm sure that your perfect guy is just around the corner."


	7. Chapter 7

Anders and Nathaniel stood in a corner of the dining room, studying a checklist Anders was holding. Nathaniel was wearing a black softleather tunic, combined with black trousers, whilst Anders wore a fine blue robe. "Let's see… The servants are carrying the guests belongings to their rooms as we speak. The cooks are prepared, and…" Anders paused as Sigrun approached them. "The guests are ready if you are." Anders smiled: "Glad to hear that, please let them take their seats." Sigrun nodded and returned to the door. "We've got everyone?" Anders shook his head: "I'm afraid we've got a few missing from the list Oghren provided. I couldn't reach some of them and Wynne informed us that she was required at a conference. Not that I mind, it was enough trouble already to get this all arranged with the amount of people that will attend." "Well, at least we've got some of her old friends here." Nathaniel glanced at the crowd as it started to pour in. "Shouldn't we announce the names?" Anders shook his head: "Don't think that's necessary. They already know each other and only two of them are more-or-less noble born." He eyed Nathaniel as the latter shifted in position. "Something wrong?" Nathaniel shook his head and responded softly: "No, I just noticed Fergus, her brother. I'm not too sure if he'll be happy to find out I'm here." "You're not quite on friendly terms?" Nathaniel glared a bit: "We used get well along, but I guess that the mass murdering my father had committed on their family isn't quite stimulating." Anders laid his hand on Nathaniels shoulder: "Sorry, I didn't forget about that. However, you shouldn't worry if he's even a bit like his sister. She doesn't hold a grudge against you either. You weren't there." He tilted his head to look at Anders, and sent him a half-smile. "I hope so."

A knocking on the door behind them. Nathaniel answered and opened the door. "Sorry ser… Can we bring the food?" A group of servants was waiting on the other side, each servant carrying a basket or plate. Nathaniel blinked for a moment before opening the door further. "Of course." The servants poured in and began to set the table for brunch. He leaned in towards Anders and grinned: "You DO know that usually you set the table before the guests arrive?" Anders shrugged in response: "Detail… guess they won't notice anyway. And they can't complain that the food might be laying there for ages." He chuckled as he saw how Oghren got pulled away from the table by Sigrun before he could throw himself on the food. "Some wouldn't notice anyway."

The servants slipped out of the room via the door via which they entered. Nathaniel eyed the guests, who kept standing in the other half of the room and didn't pay attention to the two men. The other wardens had joined them by now and they were introducing themselves to each other. Velanna withdrew herself from the group quickly, however, and pretended to be very busy with thumbing through a book. He smiled, for he admired the Dalish mage in a certain way. And since she was always taking the bait she was a nice one to tease a bit. A tanned elf followed her and started to talk to her. Nathaniel noticed the tattoo on the man his cheek. 'Another Dalish'?

Then the main door swung open and the Commander got gently pushed inside by a red haired woman. Anders sighed with relief: "Finally, I was getting worried that Leliana would have taken her on a shopping spree." But Nathaniel didn't pay attention to him. He didn't get her eyes of her as she clasped her hands in surprise as she noticed the group, before rushing forward and greeting everyone enthusiastically. Her hair was partially braided and pinned up, the rest of her long hair hanging in corkscrew curls on her back. Golden eyelids and black eyelashes made her eyes stand out. Dark red lips made her smile flash even more. Gold coloured ribbons tightened the body of her dress, accentuating her figure, but still leaving the dress decent.

She looked their way and turned around. A moment later she wrapped her arms around the two men and gave both of them a kiss on their cheek. "Silly boys! Inviting everyone without informing me." "Than it wouldn't have been a surprise." Anders returned. "Thank you." She smiled broadly at both men before darting back to the others.

"Makers breath." Nathaniel sighed as he felt himself blush. Anders glanced at him sideways and grinned. "Let's sit down to table than."


	8. Chapter 8

After finishing their meal Nathaniel walked over to his room. He closed the door behind him and flopped into a chair. 'Andraste's tits, why am I such a fool?' He rubbed his temples and thought about the brunch. She had been sitting on the head of the table, with Alastair on her right hand and Fergus on her left. Nathaniel had introduced himself (as 'Nathaniel') to Zevran and Leliana before they sat down. The two took a seat next to Alastair. Anders sat next to Leliana and Justice closed the row.

Oghren, Sigrun, he and Velanna had taken the opposite chairs. Justice and Velanna both remained quite silent, as usual. Therefore his attention was most of the time directed to his left, where she was. He'd never seen her like this since he had returned to Ferelden. So free, so happy. She wasn't the commander, or the arlesse… she was herself.

And they'd shared stories about their adventures during the Blight, like the Mage Tower, Brecilian Wood, Orzammar and the Deep Roads, each one resulting in comments from the other new wardens. He had listened and every now and then he glanced at her…

He groaned softly as even just thinking about her returned the tingle in his belly. "Quit it, fool…" He whispered to himself. Zevrans words came back to his mind: 'At least we can now sleep quietly and peacefully, without Alastair and Shanna practicing in their tents.' And they'd laughed… and she'd answered 'You must be happy that we have thick walls in here, Zevran.'

He buried his head in his hands. 'So he knows what it is like to hold her, taste her, please her.' Jealousy gradually came over him. 'And it looks like they are still having an affair… it would explain her change in behavior…' He took a deep breath: "Sod it, you're really a lucky bastard, king Theirin." He looked up as he felt a soft push against his leg. A pair of yellow eyes looked at him, before the cat stroke against his leg again. "Not now Pounce." He softly pushed the cat away before getting up. "I need a drink."

'Hopefully they've got some of that liqueur left.' He turned a corner on the way to the kitchen. Noticing Fergus on the other end of the hallway made him turn around. 'Not now.' "Nathaniel?" 'Crap!' He took a deep breath and turned around again. "Yes, Teyrn Cousland?"

Fergus grinned as he walked over to Nathaniel. "Mocking me again? Shall I call you Grey Warden than?" Nathaniel shrugged: "Whatever." Fergus frowned as he closed in on Nathaniel. "Oof, you pull a wry face. What's wrong?" "It's nothing Ser, I'm sorry." Fergus laid an arm around Nathaniels shoulder. "Stop calling me like that… And please let us talk. It has been way too long and we've got a few hours before supper. Tell me everything about the Free Marches." He gently dragged Nathaniel along to his own room. Nathaniel was reluctant, but came along anyway. 'I'm a dead man…'


	9. Chapter 9

They'd finished supper and still there was no sign of Nathaniel. Shanna called Anders with her: "Have you seen Nathaniel? It's not like him to not show up at dinner." He shook his head: "Not since lunch, my lady." Fergus leaned in: "I saw him a few hours ago. He wasn't feeling to well and wanted to lay down a bit. I can check him for you if you want?" "O yes please, if you would like to do that." Fergus nodded and left the dinner table.

Zevran walked over to her: "I heard that you've got another assassin in your collection of "people who tried to backstab me, but who I keep as friends"?" She laughed: "Not exactly Zev. He just had the intention to, but changed his mind before he even tried." He tilted his head: "So I'm still your personal backstabber?" "Yes you are Zev, you're unique." She wrapped his arms around him and gave him a big hug. "And I've even missed you, can you imagine?" He grinned slyly at her as he released her from the hug: "Of course you did. I didn't expect any less." She smiled at him: "So, what's it like in Antiva?" He shrugged: "Probably better weather than here, more scarcely dressed women and men…" She put out her tongue at him: "Keep on dreaming… but I thought you'd return to Antiva?" "I changed my mind. I'll probably stay around here, if you don't mind." She smiled: "Of course not, we've already seen some Crows around here. And we've got plenty of space." He narrowed his eyes: "You've had Crows?" "Ehm yes, but they were dealt with." "That surprises me, not that you dealt with them, of course, but that they would show up here."

"Sorry to interrupt you, but shall we move on to the throne room?" Anders looked back and forth between Zevran and the commander. "Oh, you can always interrupt me, especially if you would want to join." Zevran grinned at him. Anders raised a brow before shivering and turning away: "Never mind." Shanna couldn't help but start giggling before getting up and following Anders.

The throne room was decorated with flowers and plants and had lit candles everywhere. Shanna looked around in awe: "You keep surprising me Anders." "Well, thank you, but for the decorations you should thank the ladies." He pointed at Leliana, Sigrun and Velanna, who were lighting a last few candles. "This was their idea and work."

Shanna walked over to the women. "Thank you so much ladies, it's wonderful! It's like a romantic garden." "Glad you like it. I had no idea what a garden was." Sigrun smiled in return. "The three of you form a great combination." Shanna looked away to something that caught her eye. A mabari was sniffing at a large vase. "Careful Argus, don't break anything." He turned his head at her and barked once, whilst wagging his short tail. She smiled: "I bet the cook has been spoiling you again. Where's your bone?" The dog ran off and returned shortly, holding a large bone. Shanna grinned and winked: "I thought so, you're getting a bit plump boy." The dog flattened his ears and snarled. Velanna kneeled next to the dog and whispered in his ear. He gave a curious whine, before turning around and trotling off. The ladies gave Velena a curious look. "What did you tell him?" Leliana asked. "That the female mabari of the kennels think he's quite a stud." Shanna snorted: "Well, hopefully he has enough bones to share with all of them." and started giggling, quickly followed by the rest of the ladies.

Oghren tapped Velanna on her arm. "Shall we liven up the place a bit?" Shanna frowned at him: "Oghren! Are you drunk again?" He looked up surprised: "Eh no, why?" Velanna placed a hand on Shanna's shoulder: "Don't worry, it's alright." She walked along with Oghren to a separated part of the room. Shanna's jaw fell open: "Am I in the Fade or what?" Sigrun giggled: "No you're not. Come, let us join the others." She gently pushed Shanna in the direction where Zevran, Justice and Alastair were standing.

They all turned around as they heard the soft sound of a flute. To her amazement she saw Velanna coming from the separated room, whilst playing the flute. She was followed by Oghren, who held a lute, and Anders.

Anders bowed and addressed her: "My lady, I hope you're enjoying yourself and are having a good day. Please allow us to entertain you some more." He stood right again and smirked at her.

Velanna and Oghren started playing, and it sounded – remarkably – well. Soft tones filled the room and Anders started to sing. Shanna regarded it with admiration and smiled broadly. Then the song ended and Anders bowed again. She clapped, soon followed by the rest of the audience. "Thank you, that was wonderful!" Anders made room for Leliana and walked over to Shanna, again smirking. "I didn't know you could sing that well." "Oh, I've got more hidden talents, if you'd just allow me to show you." She rolled with her eyes: "Not sure if want to know about those." Zevran joined in: "Maybe we could share some tips? I'm always in for some sharing of 'entertaining' advice." Anders glanced at him: "You know I just entertain women, right? _Pretty_ women to be more precise." "Oh, but that is not a problem at all. I'm sure I can teach you a trick or two." Zevran smirked. Alastair sighed deeply: "Can't you two just go and converse somewhere else?" "Yes, you're distracting me from Leliana's performance." Shanna added with a wink. Both Anders and Zevran faked a pout. "Than we'll just stand over there." Anders pointed over his shoulder to the table with the wine: "Maybe there are some pretty girls who don't mind to keep a lonely mage company." "And a handsome elf." Zevran added. "Yeah whatever." Anders chuckled before the two walked off.

Alastair covered his face with his hand: "Great, two of those… How do you select them anyway?" "Usually they are carrying a sign: 'I'm lost, please take me home'." Alastair looked at her through the fingers of his hand. "Stop recruiting in taverns then." Shanna put her tongue out at him. "Look who's talking."

Then they fell silent and enjoyed the music.

"Excuse me, my lady?" Shanna looked up and was surprised to look at Nathaniel, neatly dressed up in a dark green costume. He smiled: "May I have this dance, my lady?" Shanna smiled and nodded: "Of course, kind sir." Nathaniel offered her his arm and guided her to an open spot in the room.

He leaded the dance, adjusting the pace to the music. One hand rested on her lower back, the other held her hand. She looked at him, and noticed that his grey eyes were locked on hers, a soft smile formed in the corner of his mouth.

She felt herself get a bit shy and lowered her gaze. Her eye caught a silver hanger around his neck, featuring a bear. The Howe coat of arms. 'Has he been wearing that before?' She smiled and leaned in to him: "I didn't know you could dance." A short sparkle in his eyes: "I hope those hours and hours of training during childhood didn't go to waste, my lady." An amused smile formed around her lips: "Not at all. You dance like a nobleman." He smiled softly and squeezed her back a bit. 'Is he… flirting?' The song ended and he led his hand slide of her back. He guided her back to her friends. "Thank you, my lady." He bowed and kissed her hand. Their eyes met again when he stood up right. She smiled and curtsied: "And I thank you, sir." He nodded once, before turning around and walking away. She looked at her hand, where she could still feel his warm breath and the soft touch of his lips. 'Maker, why am I feeling all warm? It's not like he's the first one who asked me to dance. He was just being polite, don't start imagining things…' "Whoah, what's that? You send me away and start dancing with other men? You've just hurt my feelings…" Anders faked a sad face, but this sparking eyes gave him away. She felt her cheeks colour slightly: "Oh, don't complain you. Everyone has got their specializations. Yours appears to be singing, Velanna's playing the flute, Nate's dancing." "What's mine then?" Alastair asked. "Well, definitely not cooking." "Hey! Last time I tried I didn't even burn down the kitchen!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air dramatically. Sigrun chuckled: "Oh, I would call that a talent: NOT burning down things."

In the meanwhile Nathaniel left the room, quickly followed by someone who slipped out of the shadows.


	10. Chapter 10

Nathaniel walked over to the library. He walked over to the cabinet and filled a goblet with wine. He just took a sip when he heard the door open and close behind him.

"Told you!" He heard a familiar voice say teasingly. Nathaniel chuckled and turned around. "You're still a boy, Fergus." Fergus leaned casually against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. He grinned widely. "Don't change the subject."

He turned more seriously. "As I said: she won't judge you on your name. Every family has a black sheep, and the Couslands have been no exception to that. Yes, a rotten apple injures its neighbours, but it's up to them whether or not this injury is beyond repair." "That is exactly the whole point Fergus, I cannot repair what my father has done. I cannot bring your family back, make the torturing in Denerim undone or return the slaves that have been sold to fund the war."

Fergus took a deep breath and shook his head: "No, you can't. But you can be who you are. And you helped to give me my sister back." Nathaniel raised a brow and cocked his head a little: "What do you mean?" "Like I said to you earlier this evening, and I stand with that: don't look too much at your father. Due to HIS betrayal I've lost my wife, my son and my parents. Shanna has changed due to all events. She has always expected to marry some noble, have a family and rule beside him in a similar way as our parents used to. She was there when it happened, and I think that it has made more of an impact on her then she'll admit. Being there, watching defenseless people getting slaughtered and not being able to save them. I mean, I've lost my soldiers in the wilds, but at least that was more of a fair fight. We were armed." He rubbed his forehead. "Never mind, I start repeating myself… What I mean is: we've known each other since childhood, Nathaniel. I recall you as a quiet boy, a thinker, a dreamer, with a good heart. You knew what you wanted, but you also didn't mind to make compromises. Do you remember that time when she fell out of the tree in the court yard?" Nathaniel ponders a bit, then nods slowly. "One of the few times we all joined in a game of hide-and-seek. Delilah spotted her and ran to the target zone. Of course our little monkey tried to be faster than her, and fell out. Thankfully she had nothing more than a skinned shin and a tear in her dress, but she was crying from the shock. You were the first to get to her and carry her back to her parents. Maker, your father was furious that you didn't prevent her from climbing the tree in the first place. But you let it be and took the blame. And exactly that is what you're doing now: you're blaming yourself for the mistake someone else made." Nathaniel looked away from Fergus and took a gulp from his wine. "You're a good guy, Nathaniel, unless I'm really mistaken by you. You weren't there when it happened and you didn't even know about it. How could either Shanna or I blame you for that? I just hope you can forgive her for bringing your father to justice."

"I… I don't know…" "What do you mean you don't know?" Fergus voice got an angry tone. "Do you think she enjoyed it? She is not some kind of cold-blooded assassin Nathaniel. She won't kill if she has a choice in the matter. She has been furious at Alastair for beheading Teyrn Loghain when he yielded, she feels horrible for every life that she takes. I was sure that my sister, in the way that I knew her, was dead, Nathaniel." His voice calmed down and got a bit of a sad undertone. "The little happy girl died and became a general, a commander who acts out of duty and who forgot about herself. I was afraid of that, and it pained me. But today I've seen that she's still there, behind the cover."

He sighed and looked up: "I don't know if I should tell you this, but… she confessed to me that she wanted to die, on top of that tower in Denerim. She knew that the warden who strikes the final blow on the archdemon dies. She left Alastair behind at the gates to protect him: he would be king. There was nothing left for her: all she knew that she was the last living Cousland and the chances of having children are very slim. Not to mention that it would be suspicious to have two wardens on the throne… that's why she decided to break up with Alastair. But Maker knows why He spared her at that time." He smiled a bit "But I know I'm grateful for that. However, she could use some support now. She feels lonely; her friends went each their own way, hardly keeping contact until today. And she has the burden of being both Warden Commander and Arlessa."

Nathaniel glanced at him, feeling a sting in his chest. "Than what? You expect her to return to Alas… I mean, king Theirin?" Fergus shook his head. "No, I doubt that she would do that. What has been, has been. And the same drawbacks remain anyway. I was actually hoping that you could support her a bit." Nathaniel looked up dumbfounded. He just stared at Fergus for a couple of moments before stammering: "Wh… what? What do you mean?" Fergus shrugged: "You're a noble who've been taught how to rule, you're a Grey Warden and…" he grinned mischievously: "I've seen how you two look at each other."

Nathaniel felt himself blush. "So that is why you wanted me to ask her to dance? But I don't think she feels that way." "Why don't you give it a chance? Or did you lie about that girl in the Marshes?" Nathaniel shook his head: "No, that's a thing of the past. I just… don't know. And I'm not a noble anymore."

Fergus walked over to Nathaniel. "Hey, I'm sorry if I've been confusing you. But know that I just want to see her happy. She's the last part of my family I have left. I love her, and I hope she can find someone who will complement her. I hope you can support her, whether it be as a friend or more. Know that you have my blessing, Nate."

Nate stepped in and gave Fergus a friendly hug: "Thank you, old friend." Fergus returned the hug: "You're welcome." He released Nathaniel and slapped him on the shoulder. "But let us return to the others. We're missing out on the fun."


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning Shanna moved quietly out of her room and to the living room. It had been late and she didn't want to wake up her guests. She smiled when she found Argus sleeping in front of the fireplace, with Ser Pounce-a-lot curled up against him. 'Such a sweet wardog.' He opened an eye and looked at her sleepily. She whispered: "Don't worry, it's just me." He closed his eye again and started to snore.

Shanna made herself comfortable on a couch and stared into the dying embers of the fireplace. 'It's still burning… Maker, did we stay up that long?' The door swung open and a servant stepped in. He startled as he noticed her: "Eh… Sorry… I'm sorry m'lady, I didn't knock.. I wasn't expecting anyone." She smiled and motioned to him: "Don't worry, it's alright." Argus moved in his sleep and howled softly. It was enough to make the nervous servant jump up and almost land on Shanna's lap. She chuckled a bit before sending him a smile: "Not too fond of dogs, I take it?" He quickly moved a step away to maintain space between them. "No, m'lady. Sorry…" "May I ask why?" The boy glanced at Argus, who slept peacefully again. "I eh… got bitten as a young lad, m'lady." Shanna eyed him and noticed some deep scars on the boys arm. "I see… they got you well indeed." The boy stared at his shoes. Due to the position of his head his ears, which were first hidden by his hair, pointed out. "Yes, my sister was less lucky. She didn't survive. Not that they cared." Her face turned serious: "Who do you mean? Who are 'they'"?" The boy kept his gaze down and fumbled nervously with his tunic: "The old guards, m'lady. They sent their hounds on us when my sister and I were playing on the streets." Shanna sat up and leaned on to him. "How old are you, and when did this happen?" He glanced for a split second at her before lowering his gaze again. "Fifteen, m'lady… It happened about eight years ago." 'The bastards!' "Tell me, where are these men?" He looked up at her. "I don't know, m'lady. I really don't… They didn't return after the Arls men left for war a few years ago."

She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. When she slowly opened her eyes again the boy was peering at her, partially hidden behind his hair. "Too bad, I would love to have taught them that I won't tolerate any such things. Please, inform me right away if anyone misbehaves against you or someone else." The boy nodded slowly. "Is there anything I can do for you?" He blinked: "Eh no, m'lady. I just came to check whether the room is decent…. Do you want anything from me?" She quirked a brow, as the question seemed remarkable to her. 'What does he imply with that?' "Not that I know… Oh wait, would you please inform the stable hand that I plan to have a ride with my guests after breakfast? Provided that they don't have too much of a hangover, of course." She rolled with her eyes when she added the last. A small smile formed around the boys lips. "Of course, m'lady." He turned around and bolted out of the room, taking a large arch around the sleeping animals.

The running awoke the mabari nonetheless, which pointed his ears and opened his eyes. He lifted his head and yawned. The cat blinked and stretched itself. Shanna chuckled as she noticed them: "Poor things, you can't even sleep peacefully eh?"

The cat stood up and walked over to her. He leaped upon the couch and settled himself upon her lap. She smiled and started to pet him. "Or you just find yourself a better spot." Her petting was rewarded with a loud purring. The mabari nuzzled her free hand and whined softly. "Oh, jealous are we? Of course you'll get attention too." The dog pressed himself against her legs and wagged his tail.

"Good morning sunshine. I see you've found good company again." Anders peered in from a partially opened door. She chuckled. "Good morning Anders. I'm afraid it's the other way around though." He moved in to sit next to her. "My, Ser Pounce, picking up with the girls when I'm not around? What about me than?" The cat looked up at him for a moment, before closing his eyes again and continue purring. "Oh well, I can't blame you… I would also prefer to lay in a girls lap and be petted." "Would you happen to know what's the time?" "Seeing it was about eleven o'clock when I left my room… I guess it's about a quarter past eleven now." She chuckled. "And you call that 'morning'?" She turned to the mabari, who was trying to position himself between the two of them. "Argus, would you be a good dog and check to see if there are more people awake? Then I know whether I should ask nan to prepare breakfast." The dog barked happily and throttled off. "Oh, and you don't need to awake them!"

She covered her face with her hands as she heard the dog barking loudly, from somewhere on the other end of the hallway. Anders laughed: "I think that you shouldn't have added 'breakfast' when you asked him to go." The cat looked up annoyed and jumped off her lap. She watched the cat as he left the room. "Well, that was just a short fling, I guess."

"Oh, but I don't mind, now _I_ can get your full attention." He leaned back into the couch, wrapped his hands behind his head and smirked. "Pff, you've got a chronic lack of attention." He pouted: "Don't you feel sorry for me than?" "Not at all, silly mage." She grinned and leaned in to give him a hug. "But I'm glad to have you here. Sometimes I just need a big hug." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her back. "Good, I like hugs."

They looked up as they heard the door slam shut behind them. She shrugged: "Probably another servant who's terrified to see me." She released Anders and stood up: "Oh well, I'll begin preparations for breakfast, since Argus should have awoken everyone by now." He chuckled: "I bet you'll have to drag him out of the larder first than."


	12. Chapter 12

After breakfast those who felt like it went on a trip through the surrounding area. Seeing the recent reports of bandits and darkspawn, each one donned their armour and weapons. Both Oghren and Nathaniel hadn't showed up for breakfast, so the Commander asked Nan to keep some breakfast for them when they would wake up.

It was a sunny day during early autumn. The stable hand had readied their horses and stalled them at the courtyard. A blue sky and the songs of various birds welcomed the group as they left the keep. Shanna, Fergus and Alastair rode on front, Velanna, Anders, Zevran and Lelianna followed.

The road guided them past lush green fields and farmsteads. Here and there were farmers working on the fields. Most would pause and wave at the group as it passed. "Thankfully these lands didn't suffer too much from the Blight. Hopefully we'll have a surplus in harvest, so we can provide food for the other areas." Shanna turned around to her party members.

They came across a patrol of three men, who saluted right away when they noticed the Commander and the king. "Anything unusual these days?" One of the guards shook his head. "No m'lady. The roads have been relatively quiet now. A few highwaymen were harassing a caravan up north, but they have been dealt with." The Commander smiled and nodded. "Glad to hear that. You're doing a fine job men." The men straightened their backs and smiled. "Thank you, m'lady!"

Fergus prodded her with his elbow. "Not bad, pup." She raised an eyebrow at him. He continued: "Sending out patrols, giving the people the feeling that they're protected. Should keep them happy you know." She teased him: "Why, are you letting everyone run rampant in Highever than?" "I'm just glad to see you do a fine job. You are my little sister after all." He sent her a knowing smile. She looked him in the eye and returned the smile. 'Yes brother, we know each other… You are glad to see I can manage myself, and I'll try to help you if you need it.' She took his hand and squeezed it softly. He nodded and placed his free hand over her hand. Due to her gauntlet he couldn't squeeze, but the motion was clear enough.

A few minutes later they arrived at an open field at the edge of a small forest. A stream rippled out of said forest and numerous colourful flowers bloomed alongside it. "Maker, it's beautiful here!" Lelianna exclaimed. Shanna turned around. "Shall we make a stop than?" The rest nodded their approval and dismounted. They tied up their horses and sat down in the grass. Anders wasted no time and laid down stretched on his back, hands folded behind the back of his head, enjoying the sunshine with closed eyes. "You make me jealous." Alastair complained. He opened one eye and looked at the man who sat next to him. "And why is that?" "Ever tried to lay down wearing massive armour? It's not comfortable." Anders smirked: "I keep telling people that robes that their advantages. But comfort yourself: it could have been _way _better." "Oh really?" "Absolutely, with scantily dressed women feeding me grapes, giving me massages, and so on…" Alastairs cheeks coloured scarlet and he leaned back again. "Well ehm, yes… I could imagine that." "Alastair, you should really come along sometime to a nice establishment. You're missing out on so much fun…" Zevran joined in with a sly smile. Alastair turned even more red and waved with his arms. "No way! I'm not needing any such things." Shanna grinned: "Hey, you're the one who came up with licking lampposts in winter." He turned towards Shanna: "That is totally not related!" "You're sure?" She winked at him. "You're not helping." "No, cause you can perfectly help yourself." "… Why does that just sound very awkward…?" Alastairs helpless face made them giggle. Shanna smiled and moved over to him. She wrapped her arms around him. "Just a good thing than that a king can do exactly as _he_ wants, isn't it?" He looked up at her. "I knew there was something good about that." And mouthed a 'thank you.'

She let him go and was about to move back to where she was sitting before, when she felt an all to familiar tingle. As one the grey wardens turned their heads and gazed at the woods: darkspawn.


	13. Chapter 13

The Wardens jumped to their feet and readied their weapons. This alarmed the others, who prepared themselves as well. Shanna glanced to Fergus and motioned him to move backwards a little.

Alastair positioned himself behind his shield. The Commander moved to his left side and held her position about a yard away from him. On the quarter was Fergus, protecting the flank for the lesser armoured people. Zevran crouched low and moved to the other flank.

Then a group of darkspawn charged out of the woods. A genlock was pinned against a tree by one of Lelianna's arrows and finished off by a second one in the head. A hurlock alpha stormed off towards Shanna, who quickly raised her shield to meet his waraxe. Alastair bashed his shield against a genlock and stabbed the creature before he could recover from the blast. An arrow ricocheted off his spaulder. Velanna wasted no time to paralyze the shooter, allowing Zevran to circle around and finish him off.

Alastair was assaulted again, this time by a hurlock. Anders froze the creature, after which another arrow from Lelianna shattered it to pieces. A fireball was hurled out of the woods and barely missed the group. Alastair frowned and glanced in the direction of the wood. He snarled as he spotted the caster and wasted no time to cast a smite in his direction, knocking him off his feet. He sprinted towards the creature to prevent it from casting further, aided by Zevran who moved to the darkspawns back.

In the meantime the Commander was still struggling with the alpha. Fergus had moved in to aid his sister, and both were juggling the creature back and forth, playing with his attention.

The creature feigned an attack on Fergus, but then turned around and struck a blow at the Commander. The sideways swing landed with a sickening crack and sent her flying. The darkspawn stepped in to strike again at the, now laying, warden. When he lifted his axe he got bombarded with frost spells, slowing down the creature sufficient enough to give Alastair the time to charge into the creature with a full bodyslam. The alpha managed to stay on his feet, but had to take a few steps and was stunned. The creature shook his head and tried to lift his axe. However, he was finished off by three angry men who were stabbing his armour and started to find weak spots, aided by more arrows and spells, before he could really strike out.

Fergus turned around and walked over to the Commander, with the intention to help her back on her feet. He crouched when he was near her, and noted that she was lying still. "Oh Maker…" He gasped when he noticed the large gash in her flank due to the impact with the darkspawns axe.

Anders rushed over and kneeled beside her. He quickly but carefully removed her helmet and a gauntlet. The others gathered and shared worried looks as they looked at her pale face. Anders grabbed her wrist. "Thank the Maker, she's still with us." He spoke softly, probably mostly to himself. Quickly he started to untie the belts which held the chest armour together. After removing the armour, he placed his hands on her abdomen and closed his eyes. His hands radiated a blueish glow. "I can stabilize her, but I lack the means here to treat her. We'll need to transport her back to the Keep."

"The farmers!" Fergus exclaimed. "They should have some sort of cart or wagon." Lelianna and Zevran jumped up and ran to their horses. "We'll get one!" Alastair got up and ran after them: "I'll come along to make sure we get one."


	14. Chapter 14

She woke up with a severe headache and a sting in her side. A sudden increase of the pain made her groan. "I'm sorry m'lady, but I need to clean the wound." It was a familiar voice. She turned her head in the direction of the voice, but it remained a blur for her eyes. "How do you feel?" Another familiar voice, somewhere on the other side. She turned her head slowly in the direction where the sound came from. A face hung above her, but she couldn't recognize it. It was too vague. She blinked, but she couldn't focus. Her mouth opened, but there came no sound. 'So tired…' Her eyes closed again.

Fergus caressed her cheek as she appeared to be sleeping again. "She's lost quite a lot of blood, so she'll need some time to recover. But she will be there, she's a tough woman." Anders had placed a comforting hand on the Teyrns shoulder. He turned his head to face the mage. "I know, but I feel guilty nonetheless. Thank you, Anders. Things would have been far more grim if you wouldn't have been there."

Anders merely shrugged and turned to clean up the dirty cloths. The wound had been stitched. 'Thank the Maker it was just a flesh wound. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if she would have died out there…. Bloody idiot for not bringing potions and salves along!' He clenched his jaw as he stuffed his bag with all sort of vials. 'If I could have treated her right away she would have recovered more quickly.' His eye caught a vial containing a purple-ish transparent fluid. 'What do we have here?' He quirked a brow as he opened the vial and sniffed. 'No scent?' He held up the vial in front of his eyes. "Is this yours, Teyrn Cousland?"

Fergus looked up at the mentioning of his name. He eyed the vial the mage was holding. "No, I haven't got any potions with me." The mage nodded and produced a bit of a smile. "Alright, it's another type of vial then I tend to use." Anders turned away from the Teyrn, so he wouldn't notice the change of his expression. 'Then what is this doing in the infirmary?' He tugged the vial away and walked out of the room. He looked around the corridor and sneaked around the corner.


	15. Chapter 15

Zevran and Lelianna were both in the courtyard as the evening was falling. Lelianna checked her arrows whilst Zevran was pacing back and forth. "That was strange, no?" Lelianna looked up at him. "Darkspawn warbands are not uncommon after a blight." He shook his head. "I know about that, but I've never noticed any tactical thinking when it comes to darkspawn." Lelianna put the arrow she was holding in her quiver. "You mean that hurlock, right? It appears that some darkspawn are getting more intelligent." Zevran stood still and rubbed his chin. "That's worrying." Lelianna nodded: "It is. But for now I care more about her recovery." He turned around to face her. "Of course." He said irritated: "I just don't like a sudden change in our enemy, that's all."

She produced and assuring smile: "I know." She knew him well enough to know that there was more behind the surface then Zevran would show. He wasn't the person to show his true feelings or speak up his mind freely.

Zevran cocked his head and turned around sharply. He sneaked towards the corner of the wall and peeked around the corner. His sensitive ears didn't deceive him: someone was climbing over the wall. 'Such an extraordinary way to leave this place.' He motioned to Lelianna, and both went into pursuit.


	16. Chapter 16

The Commander sat up in her bed. She was dizzy and her side was throbbing, but at least she was back in the land of the living. She closed her eyes for a moment in order to get rid of most of the dizziness. When she opened them again she took a look around. At the far wall was an impressive cabinet full of potions and draughts. 'So that's what keeps Anders off the streets.' She remembered the large quantities of vials and herbs he had ordered in the last few months. Her eyes followed the rest of the wall: another cabinet, full of blankets, towels and, probably, bandages.

Then she noticed the two men who dozed off on a couch placed to her right. Anders was sitting upright, leaning with his head against the wall. Several strings of hair hung around his face. His robe was fastened loosely and showed a bit of his chest. Alastair seemed to have fallen over on Anders lap, as he was still half-sitting. He was wearing a lose tunic and pair of trousers. His head cradled along with Anders breathing.

The sight made her smile. 'Poor things, they must have been trying to sit up with me.' Carefully she swung her legs out of the bed, so she was facing the men. A stab of pain flew through her side as she sat up. Clenching her teeth she could prevent herself from making too much noise. She looked up at the men and sighed in relief as they were still sleeping. It touched her as she noticed the dark rings around their eyes. 'They're exhausted. Dear Maker…' She pushed herself up and slowly moved her weight to her legs. 'Quit complaining body, there are more important things to do than lay in a bed.' She stepped carefully and with small steps towards the others. When she reached a small chair, placed next to the couch, she let herself slowly down on it.

'There, it's not too bad.' She grimaced as the pain slowly lessened. Alastair murmured a bit in his sleep. She grinned. 'So he does that still?' Her thoughts flew back to the time before the fight at Denerim. They'd found warmth and support in each other. 'But that was in the past. We've both developed and moved on.' But she had to admit that she missed the feeling of a warm body to keep her warm at night, and to have someone special and know that those feelings are returned. She sighed and looked at Anders. 'Silly mage. I'm glad to have you with me.' A smile formed on her lips. 'We always seem to understand each other, and complement each other as well. We both like to flirt as we know that it is 'safe'. Oh, of course, if we'd really want to we could end up in each others bed, but it's not something I'd see happen. We regard each other too high to be just a fling. And he definitely deserves better. It's rare to find a man who could find you naked in his bed, and would still be able to keep his hands off if you ask him to. Yes, he's fond of flirting, but he keeps women in high regard. That's what makes him special.'

A string of hair fell in front of his face, and she couldn't resist to softly move it back behind his ear. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her. It seemed to take him a couple of seconds before he recognized her, as his eyes went wide in surprise. "Shanna! What do you do here? You should be in bed." She placed her finger on his lips as Alastair stirred in his sleep. "Sssh" She whispered: "I'm just taking my turn to sit up. I'm such a lousy host at the moment." He looked at the sleeping man in his lap. "And apparently I've been promoted to pillow. But back to the subject: you shouldn't worry about us at the moment." "You know I do and will, Anders. But if you insist, would you please get yourselves and me to a proper bed?" He looked up at her and smirked: "I won't say 'no' to that, but where to find a bed that's large enough for three?" "You're horrible. But as you wish, I'll get to my room myself than." She winked and rose to her feet slowly, seeking support to the arm rests for help.

Anders pushed the sleeping man upwards, allowing himself to stand up. He quickly moved forward to offer the Commander support and help her. The not too subtle removal of the 'pillow' caused Alastair to yawn and open his eyes sleepily. Shanna noticed and smiled at him. "Come Alistair, let's find a better place to rest than here." He nodded slowly and stood up, although he appeared far from awake. 'The remains of his training?' Soon after they started to make their way to the upper floor, where the bedrooms were, each of the men on a side of her, offering support on the stairs so she wouldn't stress her wounds too much.


	17. Chapter 17

_Sorry for the terrible delay, something with having too many hobbies... But this story is not forgotten nor ending yet. Please enjoy the new chapter._

Nathaniel ran. He had to be quick if he wanted to follow the tracks before the darkness would make it impossible. He clenched his teeth. 'I would already have gotten him if I did not have to get a weapon first…' Nearing some old shed he lowered his pace and sneaked nearby. The footprints went into the shed. He looked around and when he did not see anyone, he went inside.

A figure was standing next to a table to a wall, trying to light a lantern. Nathaniel rushed in and pushed the man to the wall by grabbing him by his neck. The lantern fell and shattered whilst the startled man stared at Nathaniel. "What were you doing there?" Nathaniel hissed at him, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean, Ser?" "Do not play games with me. I saw you sneaking around at the keep. Speak up or you will only leave this shed with your feet first." The man clasped his hands around Nathaniels, who only firmed his grip. "I wanted… to help you, Ser Howe." Nathaniel eyed the man and slowly released him. "What are you talking about?" "Me and my family have always been loyal to yours, Ser." The man nodded with a sly grin on his face, whilst making a failed attempt to adorn his shabby clothes. "So when me heard that you returned to claim the estate, me wanted to help ye, Ser." Nathaniel lets out a deep sigh and replies irritated: "Listen, I do not…" "No worries Ser." He was interrupted: "I made sure it will not track to you, just take out the usurper." The man grinned widely, showing some missing teeth, as Nathaniel looked at him with large eyes. "What did you…" An arrow flew past his head. Barely missing him, but the same could not be said for the peasant. The impact slammed the man to the wall, after which he limp sank to the ground. Before Nathaniel had the chance to turn around he felt something sharp and pointy against his back. "Really, Howe? You disappoint me." Whispered a voice with an Antivan accent into his ear.

Nathaniel planted his elbow firmly into the elfs stomach, before turning around, away from the dagger that was pointing at his back. Zevran gasped and cringed. But Nathaniel did not pay attention to him as he bolted outside. Next to the door Lelianna drew her bow and released an arrow after the fleeing man. He cried out when a sharp sting went through his shoulder, as the arrow grazed it. Nonetheless he kept running, driven by panic, into the darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

Anders poured some water into a goblet and walked over to Shanna, who was laying in her bed. He put the goblet on a small table next to her bed. She smiled at him. "Thank you for your kind care, but please take some rest too." She turned her head to the other side, where Alistair was sitting. "And same for you dear. I am not getting anywhere." "I know… but I want to be sure you are alright." Alistair grabbed her hand and gently rubbed it with his thumb. Anders poured in another goblet and put that one near Alistair. "I will be down the hallway, so yell if you need me." Both Alistair and the Warden-Commander nodded. "Good way to test how sound-proof these walls are." Shanna smirked.

Anders grinned as he turned around to walk to the door. His foot kicked against something, which rolled over to the other end of the room. Curiously he walked to it and picked it up. "You should clean your room better, I keep finding objects here…" He held the object and observed it. It was a small glass vial. When he turned it around a bit, he noticed some purple residue. He frowned. "Since when are you practicing alchemy?" He turned and looked at Shanna. She looked tiredly at him. "I like your potions enough, no need to mix something myself." She reached for the goblet to get a drink. "Than why…" He looked from the vial to the canister with water to his side. He walked over to it and grabbed an empty vial from his pouch. After pouring water into it, he grabbed another vial and mixed some of the contents with the first vial. He shook the vial, after which the colour of the liquid changed to dark green. "Maker…" His face turned pale as he turned towards the Commander. She just brought the goblet to her lips. "Do not drink it!" He ran over to her and snatched the goblet from her hands.

At that moment Zevran and Lelianna bursted into the room. Both panted heavily. Shanna looked confused from Anders to the rogues and back. "What is going on?" Anders pointed at the vial holding the green liquid. "Poison… The water has been poisoned." Both the Commander as Alistair stared at Anders with shocked eyes. "Who would do such a thing?" Alistair stammered. "Nathaniel Howe" Zevran answered. "What?!" exclaimed the others in choir. Lelianna explained: "Zevran and me saw someone climb over the wall, so we followed him. In a shed nearby we found Nathaniel and someone else, discussing that Nathaniel wanted to reclaim the keep and that the 'usurper' would be taken care of." Anders twisted the found vial in his hand. "I found another one of these in my cabinet. That is why I recognized it…" Zevran nodded: "I guess he wanted to frame you for it." Alistair stood up, his face turning red from anger. "Where is he?!" "He escaped, but is wounded, so I doubt that he will get far. Ensuring everyone's safety here was of higher priority, no?" Lelianna answered calmly.

Alistair rubbed his cheek. "It is too dark now… tomorrow we will find that traitor, and..." "Calm down, for Makers sake!" Shanna sat right up in her bed and glared at Alistair. "No, that blighted fool tried to kill you and could as well have killed me too. He is as bad as his father!" Alistair snapped at her. "Shut up!" She yelled. No longer able to fight back the tears, she started to sob and buried her face in her hands. "I do not… believe it."

Everyone but Lelianna poured out of the room. She walked over to the sobbing woman and wrapped her arms around her.


	19. Chapter 19

Alistair was pacing back and forth in the living room. "Shouldn't you try to get some sleep?" Fergus spoke calmly as he leaned back in his chair. "No." "Well, it is late, and it has been an enervating day…" Alistair threw his arms up in the air: "Yeah, let us all just go to bed and forget about the attempted murder on Shanna… Nothing unusual about that at all!"

"Alistair…" Fergus leaned forward in his chair: "That is not what I mean. The last two days took their toll from me too… almost losing her twice. Nonetheless you are not helping anyone by worrying and exhausting yourself." Alistair groaned and turned to face Fergus, his face grim: "Why are you still up than?" "I am a night owl." "Maybe I am too." "I've heard a different story from a trustworthy source." Fergus smiled.

"Fine fine… you win." Alastair threw up his arms in defeat. "I have doubled the amount of guards patrolling and told everyone to be on the lookout for anything unusual. I just can't come up with a plan to secure that we have find that traitor." "Good intents, but is that really your job?" Alistair raised a brow at Fergus: "What do you mean?" "Of course you are highest in command as King of Ferelden, yet you are here at the keep of the Commander-Arlessa." "So?" "Don't you think that she should determine what should happen?" "She should stay in bed until she is restored." "She did not take a blow to the head Alistair… She has a strong mind and will. I do not think that she will appreciate it if you take away her authority."

Alastair sat down on a chair opposite of Fergus. "I know… I just want to make sure no further harm comes to her." Fergus nodded: "I understand, and to be honest I share the feeling, yet you may achieve the opposite by claiming too much control over her. You are not her husband, Alistair." Alistair flinched: "Maker, I know… but I still regret that I let her go. And than find out that a person who courts her one day tries to kill her the other day… That brings up hard feelings."


	20. Chapter 20

'Makers balls…' Nathaniel leaned against a tree. Panting heavily he looked up through a clearing in the branches, at a ceiling full of twinkling stars. 'Why? Why are you doing this to me? Setting me up for a crime I did not commit... Hunted down like a prized stag.' He looked at his shoulder. His shirt was torn and stained with blood. 'It is still bleeding and of course I cannot bandage it myself... Is that the idea? Weaken here down in the wilds, waiting for the hunters to find me?' He sighed. 'Why hadn't I noticed that burglar sooner? Or whatever he was...' He closed his eyes as images formed in his mind from an assassin waiting for the Warden-Commander when she returned to her room... He shook his head. 'No, it cannot be. She cannot be dead, right?' He started to feel dizzy. 'Oh great, the loss of blood is starting to kick in...' He sat down, with his back against the tree, trying to ignore the sharp stings of pain coming from his shoulder. 'Maker, please let me be with her.'


	21. Chapter 21

Shanna laid down on a couch in the living quarters. Argus stood next to her and poked his nose against her arm. She petted him whilst keeping her eyes on the ceiling, leading to a soft whine from the mabari. She turned her head to look at him and could not help but having to smile at the sad puppy eyes that were looking at her. "Silly dog... sorry, but I do not feel like it at the moment." She sighed and gently pushed him away. However, Argus was not to be persuaded that easily and gently grabbed her leg and started to pull it. "Hey, stop that! If you need to go outside you can do that yourself!" The angry tone made the dog cower and flatten his ears.

At that moment the door opened and the young elven boy came in. When noticing the warden-commander he stayed in the opening of the door. "I eh... is there anything I can do for you mylady?" Shanna sighed and turned her head to face the boy: "I suppose you don't want to walk the dog, as he is quite annoying today... Further I can't be arsed, to be honest." The boy blinked for a moment, as if carefully thinking about an answer. "I expected that you would have left with the others mylady, otherwise I would have knocked before opening the door..." "Sorry, it was not my intention to direct my annoyance to you." She sighed deeply. "I cannot stand that they just left be here 'for my own good' whilst they went outside to look for Nathaniel... I... I am worried." The boy took a sidestep into the room, after which he closed the door, but remained quite a distance from the mabari. She continued: "Anders has done quite some healing. Sure, I should not get another blow, but it is not like I am badly wounded anymore... I want to look for Nathaniel. I am afraid that those hotheads will hurt him. To be honest, I do not believe that he is behind that whole poison-thing." The mabari started to pull on a leg again. "Stop that!" She snapped at him. This time the dog only cocked his head instead of cowering.

The boy looked from her to the mabari and back. "If he is that eager to go outside... why don't you two go out? You could pretend to go for a walk with him and in the meantime look for the lost warden?" She smiled faintly: "I had the same plan earlier, but sadly enough Alistair instructed the guards to not let me go outside the keep... and of course they listen because the King is of higher ranking than me." She groaned. "I'll get him for that..." The elf pondered a bit. "Maybe... you can use the emergency exit?" She looked at the boy with a questioning look on her face. "In the kitchen", he explained: "There is a hatch which leads to a hidden entrance. I have been told it was created ages ago in case the keep would come under siege." Shanna rubbed her forehead and the boy quickly lowered his gaze to his feet. "Of course... alright, lets do that..." She stood up from the couch, whilst Argus bounced around her happily.

The three of them went towards the kitchen. The guards and other servant were busy in other parts of the keep, which allowed them to stay unnoticed. In the kitchen, the boy removed some large barrels in a corner, revealing a hidden latch. He opened it, showing an entrance to a tunnel. Shanna stared at the tunnel. Memories flashed by of what occurred over a year ago: fighting, screaming... finding her parents and finally being dragged away by Duncan through that exit... a similar one. The nudging of the mabari against her leg got her out of her memories. "You're right Argus... this is not the time to remember." She stepped into the tunnel, quickly followed by the dog. "M'lady?!" She turned around and looked up. The boy kneeled and handed down a package. "Please, take some for the road." She accepted the package and smiled at him. "Thank you... I have never asked your name, haven't I?" "Jennis, m'lady" She nodded: "Thank you, Jennis." Then she continued walking via the tunnel.


	22. Chapter 22

The party sat down to rest a bit. "Splitting up would make searching easier, if not less noisy, no?" Alistair brushes off Zevrans suggestion. "No, I cannot take the risk of walking around in small groups with the current darkspawn activity here." He looked around. It was indeed a large group, as Oghren and Justice had joined too. He avoided looking at Justice, as the decaying body made him shiver. Fergus kept his distance and was discussing something with the mage, Anders. 'Makers breath, how is she always able to find missing people? I thought it would be easy with such a large group...' Oghrens laughing interrupted his chain of thoughts. 'Maker, that man is so loud I can barely hear myself think! At least everyone and everything in the neighborhood knows we are here...'


	23. Chapter 23

The tunnel emerged amongst some thick underbrush. Shanna looked around, and noticed she was far enough from the keep to be spotted easily. "Alright Argus, please help me finding Nathaniel... I hope that we can prove his innocence." The Mabari wagged his small tail and started sniffing around. He led her further away from the keep, alongside a path. They neared a small decayed shed which clearly got attention from Argus. The door was open, and she gasped when she looked inside: a dead man was sitting against a wall with an arrow stuck in his forehead. She looked at Argus: "Are you sure?" The mabari barked in return. She took a deep breath and went inside. 'Not much there... a shattered lamp... Let's check his pockets.' Apart from a few coppers and a flask containing some kind of moonshine the man did not seem to have much on him. Then she produced a letter. She unfolded the paper and started to read:

_Simon,_

_Hereby the last of the required ingredients. Make sure that no one finds out before it is done, including the young Howe. He might interfere if he would find out. We need to make sure he gets his land back as the rightful heir he is. Do not fail!_

_Bearpaw_

She trembled as she finished reading. 'Evidence! He really is innocent! But Anders is truly right with his suspicions regarding treason... The handwriting is clean and no mistakes, so this 'bearpaw' is probably someone who had good education... Never mind, let's sort this out later.' She turned around at Argus. "Good job boy, now let us really find him!" The mabari barked happily and trotted further. He stopped to sniff somewhere. Shanna noticed an arrow stuck in the ground. Carefully she removed it and noticed some dried blood on its tip. 'Makers balls, he's wounded!' Her face turned in a worried expression: "Let us hurry Argus." The dog ran away, but quickly halted and looked back at her. "Thank you, you know I cannot run now."


	24. Chapter 24

'A voice... female... somewhere familiar... a warm hand against his cheek... the hand goes... again that voice... silence... fluid...'

Nathaniel started coughing. "Nathaniel?" Slowly he opened his eyes. "Thank the Maker, you were so pale..." He looked at the person sitting right in front of him. Slowly his brain started to progress everything. "Shanna?" His voice barely more than a whisper. The worried look on her face lightened up a bit. "Yes, it's me. Here, take some more." She placed a small vial on his lips and poured some of the red fluid in his mouth. He swallowed whilst looking at her. 'It is her... It is really her. Maker...' He groaned as he tried to switch positions. "Sssh, try to sit still. I have sent Argus to find help." His body started to shiver. She moved to sit next to him, opposite of his wounded shoulder. He looked at her whilst she was searching through a package. "Too bad, that was the only healing potion..." She grabbed his hand with one hand first, then with both. 'Warm...' "You're so cold... I wish I had brought some cloak with me." One hand moved up to his cheek again. He closed his eyes and leaned with his head against the hand. 'Warm and soft.' "I was afraid that you were gone." Her voice was soft, more a whisper. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. "You... alive... assassin." His voice was barely audible. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. As he wanted to open his mouth to try and speak again he felt a pair of soft and warm lips on his. Surprised he opened his eyes. She pulled away and a warm glow flushed his body. "Sorry... I eh..." She looked away. He managed to produce a smile on his lips and softly squeezed the hand that was still on his. She returned her gaze on him and looked at him intently. When she leaned in again he answered her kiss. 'Warm, soft, sweet... do not wake me up now.'

"There they are." Voices made her pull back and turn her head. He merely leaned back and closed his eyes. 'Just one more minute mum.'


	25. Chapter 25

Nathaniel left Anders clinic. Anders had assured him that he would be able to use the bow again, which was quite a relief to him. He went upstairs, planning to go to his room. When he passed the chamber of the Warden-Commander, he hesitated. He walked back and knocked on the door. "Come on in." He opened the door and peeked inside. She was standing at the window, dressed in a lose fitting robe. He closed the door behind him and walked over to her. She continued to look outside, as the sun was setting on the horizon. "I could never stop looking when I was a child." Her comment makes him smile. The dampness of her hair told him that she had just taken a bath. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Beautiful, indeed." She turned her head to look at him sideways. "Me, or the sunset?" He grinned: "Both." She smiled and looked back at the window, where the sun had almost disappeared. The warmth of her body against his appeared to make his whole body glow. He planted a kiss on her shoulder and slowly moved to her neck. Her back arched and she left out a soft moan when he softly sank his teeth in the soft skin. "I'm hungry for you." he whispered in her ear.

She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. She looked at him intently with a sly grin before pressing her lips on his for a kiss. His hands slided down her back and stopped in the curve above her buttocks. She pulled back from the kissing, slightly panting. She started to softly push him backwards, towards the bed. Her lips puffy and eyes dark with desire. "Makers breath, you're beautiful." His voice was hoarse. He could not deny that he longed for her. She pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him. He lifted a hand and gently stroked her cheek. She turned her head and kissed his hand, before leaning forward to kiss his lips. His hands stroked her back, moving from her shoulders to her buttocks. Then he moved them forward to start untying her robe. As the robe slid off he admired the view. He sat up and started to remove his shirt, with which she gradually helped. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing their bodies together as she sat on his lap. They shared some more passionate kisses before he gently lifted her up and laid her down on the bed, next to him. After removing his pants he climbed back on the bed. Kissing her body as he moved up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he started to kiss her neck. "I want you." he breathed into her neck as he entered her. He lifted up to look her into the eyes. Her soft moans drove him wild, and soon he felt his climax nearing. When she clawed her nails into his back and softly moaned his name he could no longer contain himself. Exhausted he laid down on her, sharing more kisses. "Thank you, for believing in me." She smiled at him and replied: "Thank the maker for being you. And please, stay with me." He sent her a big smile and kissed her. 'Yes, the Maker is smiling on me today.'


End file.
